fuck forums

so maybe this sounds dumb coming from someone writing a blog but forums aren't really my thing. most of them are pretty boring/about stuff i dont understand or care about/full of people like "fuking dont talk shit to me on the internet ur a fag noob l33t bla bla bla" whatever.

but one good thing about forums is the random desperation that somehow sneaks in to like 90% of all threads. somewhere along the line someone is going to say something creepy and wierd that only has the thinnest relationshop to the main topic before veering desperately on to some bizarre story written in the 'crazy language' of people on the internet.

this language is easily recognisable and generally indicates the writer is fucking insane. expect to be confused and frustrated as a littany of incomprehensible loneliness, fear and paranoia unfolds before you and wastes all that time you could have been watching porn and fat people fall over... ideally in the same video.

a classic example was presented to me when researching postgrad study in anthropology. go to this link http://everydayanthropology.blogspot.com/2006/10/phd.html if you really want the full shabang, but pasted below pretty much sums it up:

"Getting Ph.D to Anthro might let you get job at CIA. The academics seems to bar non-agents from the top universities thesedays.I hope you do not become like the dean who sent me to a mental hospital to cover up the professor sleepig around to get her degree. Against them would end you up disappeared from the society. I was studying antho. and became a subject of the political deduction."

It continues by describing something about a police interrogation or something... with a link to a recording of the transcript...

even reading it for like the 5th im all like waaaaaat???? what the fuck is this person on about???? it just pisses me off coz it makes no fucking sense that someone would put that shit on some random web page for everyone to read????

oh...wait....

things that are majorly badass when your like 6 and are still badass now

okay so I'm not pulling any suprises, I'm just gonna list a bunch of things I liked from being a kid coz Anna made fairy cakes and I got to lick the bowl :)

1) Getting to lick the bowl when someone makes fairy cakes - yea, so fairy cakes are okay, but only a sucker settles for the cakes at the end and doesn't get in on that bowl action. Mary Antoinete or whatever said 'Let them eat cake'. What she was meant is 'Let the poor people eat their cake, motherfucking royalty gonna get the REAL shit by going straight to the bowl'.


2) Skipping school - get your Ferris Bueller on and live on the wild side. Take off your shirt. Get a little crazy.3) Building dens - anything you can do I can do way more badass-ly in a den. I'm writing this in a den right now, and when I read it back I'm gonna look like a mad evil genius doing some sick DNA experiments. When you read it, your just gonna look patheticaly exposed.

Plenty of things didn't make this list but fuck you go write your own blog.

c'est la vie

tonight, im gonna help spread some sunshine around the dark, perverted, chilling embraces of networks and intrawebs.

watch the video below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qjde8CVlLmw

good work, now do this one as well:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNf0ZEbU1JU&feature=related

ace.

wanna get glee??

SAY WHAT SAY WHAT SAY WHAT coming backatcha from Kilburn again bringing you the fresh bringing you the real.

so two people who don't wanna be named and henceforth will be called (j)X(ica) and (f)Y(ona) wanna get included in my blog so here's some stuff they were just saying. X was all like you should comment on those ads that are all about getting ripped and Y was like you should talk about Glee.

here it goes. seen the adverts? gross. seen glee? its sick.

SEEN THEM BOTH TOGETHER???????? only on this blog biatch. stay tuned.

first blog

yea so this is my first blog EVER my name is Jacob and I'm a student living in Kilburn. I live with my friends. We just made pancakes. We're gonna watch Titanic.

The party on the Titanic was totally rocking, when they go down in to the bowels of the ship and all the Irish people are dancing rowdy and having a wicked time.

My blog's advice to you - in life, do what the main characters of Titanic did and go down in to the bowels of the ship. Get partying. That's a life lesson we should all take away from that film. Coz the guy died soon afterwards when the ship hit the iceburg, and he'd probably done that shit loads of times anyway but if he hadn't gone to the bowels when he did that woman wouldn't have let him draw her naked.

More internet gems coming your way later x